fall happenings

Fall 2017, a long grueling semester filled with lots of homework, working, and staying indoors. Student life is such a sacrifice, I want to badly to have more free time and have more money to GO places. I have had the travel itch so badly these days. I wish we were going somewhere for our anniversary in a couple weeks, but we are saving for a really cool adventure next year. Patience.

Anyway, here are some memories of fall 2017:

a family community
Here at the University Village, families come first. And by families I mean BABIES. Babies everywhere, old and young. (I call all children under the age of 12 babies). 

This is a picture of us enjoying one of the family activities. We got to see the inside of an ambulance, eat cotton candy, and look at children's books. hahaha.

new eats 

We love eating out, especially at new places. This Mexican restaurant was a dud because the salsa tasted like Ragu! Horrendous.

sick days.

There were way too many sick days. I blame it on this nasty air! 

Giuseppe's first time to Lagoon

It was a lot to take in for him.

fall general conference

We spent G-con weekend in Brigham City with Mama Hess. she lives in a very old building. 

But what exactly does this mean??!

She treated us like royalty! breakfast in bed, lunch in bed, snacks in bed... (the guest bed is in the living room in front of the TV)

The Surprise
I was on fall break the second week of October and wanted to go somewhere but G had nonstop classes and work that week. I found a 22 hour period between him getting off work on Tuesday and going to class Wednesday evening for us to do something. I kept telling him not to plan anything because there was going to be a Surprise. The Surprise was often talked about and highly anticipated. On the day of The Surprise he came home from work, we got in the car, and I told him where to drive. We ended up at a Lunchbox salon in Park City hahahaha. Unfortunately it was closed so G wasn’t convinced for even a minute that it was The Surprise. We parked there because that’s where our Airbnb hosts told us to park. I pulled a packed suitcase out of the trunk and told him where we were headed! G isn’t the greatest reactor to surprises, but nevertheless he was excited and happy. After settling into our room and briefly meeting our host, we headed to dinner at a saloon on Main Street. We ordered too many fried things, but it was still good. 

Later that evening back at the Airbnb after soaking in the hot tub, G turned on the TV in the luxurious living room and I started prepping our dessert. It was very nerve wracking, WHIPPING cream in somebody’s kitchen at midnight while they slept upstairs. I had the beater on a low setting so it took foreverrrrr. And at last, the blackberry shortcake was done. We watched a crime show, and saw a reenactment of a true story, the horrifying murder of 15-year-old Seath Jackson. What a terrible tale. It had us on the edge of our seats and talking for weeks! 
After a leisurely morning, Giuseppe decided to take me shopping! That cutie. We just went to two of my favorites, GH Bass & CO where I bought the CUTEST hat, a perfect plaid shirt, and new leggings. I ended up wearing all of those things that weekend when Kylie took our Christmas card pics. Then we went to The Olive Oil Company where I bought some coconut balsamic. 

Then in was time for The Surprise part 2: electric bicycling through the mountains of PC! I packed us a lunch and we headed into the mountains on our rented bikes. It was so much fun! 
At one point I was going down a hill suuuper fast doing a turkey call. (weird, I know but it's our thing.)
When I finally stopped making that dumb sound, I heard someone behind me speaking to me! I turned around and there was a middle-aged man and his wife asking me about my bike. Haha so embarrassing. We chatted for a few minutes and when we parted ways I asked Giuseppe if he had even heard me turkey calling. He hadn't. The turkey call was only enjoyed by the older couple. Yay.

After our bike ride, we headed back to reality. On our drive back to SLC our car started overheating really badly so we took it right to our trusty mechanic. We ended up having to take a bus home and pick up the car the next day. It's all good!

Ava's play

I didn't get a picture with Ava, yikes! But look at these cuties before Mary Poppins started.

park city with the Albright's

That next weekend, Kylie took our pictures. She and Corey spent the night at our place so we could get up really early the next day and get some sunrise pictures.  Of course we stayed up super late talking and Corey became enthralled with our half-finished puzzle on the table. We couldn't pull him away. Kylie says we've created a puzzle monster! 
We blew up a queen size air mattress for them only to discover it had a massive hole! They had to sleep on the twin size air mattress! 
It was really hard to get up because we had stayed up so late. Apparently Corey had woken up well before everyone and showered and everything. He's the most silent shower taker in the world because I didn't hear a thing. When I was putting on my coat that morning to head out, Kylie looked at me very calmly and said, "babe, hold very still and take off your coat. Just put it on the ground. Do it now." Petrified, I obeyed her calm voice. There was a huge spider on the back! Yuck so gross. We joked about what would happen if that spider managed to stay unseen on my coat and it appeared in all of the photos, smiling at the camera along with us. Weeks later as Kylie edits the photos, she notices the same smiling spider on my shoulder, in Giuseppe's hair, nestled in between us contently. The three of us. A real family.
Haha Giuseppe and I love spider jokes every since we got sucked into looking up misunderstood spider memes online for several hours one morning back in the spring. 
Once in Park City, we snuck up to a shooting range and took some pics there, but Kylie lead us up a much prettier canyon where we ran into this: 

An abandoned crashed car! Corey and Giuseppe thought it was just the funniest thing ever and they wanted their picture taken by it. They got out of the car to do their thing and Kylie and I stayed inside chatting. While Giuseppe was taking Corey's photo, the car's owner pulled up along with a little crowd. Haha so awkward! They quickly offered to help. They, along with the help of a guy with a pickup truck attempted to get the car out of the ditch to no avail. Eventually the guy with the pickup truck drove the kid back to town to figure it out. The kid's name is Ernest, and apparently he's a rich teenager who got super excited when he woke up to snow that morning and just knew he needed to take his new car joy riding down the canyon. Kylie and I kept making jokes about Ernest and the lecture he was going to get from his rich daddy but Giuseppe was really defensive of misunderstood Ernest. 

happy birthday to you
Laura turns 61!! We celebrated, per her request, at a pizza restaurant. We chose CPK, she wasn't a big fan of Settebello's last year. We met up with Rob & Angela & Co for a night to celebrate mom! I got to bring Vin because I was babysitting him that night. He was so fun! Except for the blowout right when we got to the restaurant...  Haha but he really is the most pleasant little baby. He sat between Laura and I and was doted on the whole time. 

lazy day
The day before Halloween I woke up 10 minutes before my class started. In a hectic frenzy, I asked Giuseppe what time he had to work and if he could drop me off. Still half asleep, he told me he had the day off. So I turned off the pesky alarm and snuggled into him. Skipping class every now and then is good for the soul. We spent the day binge watching Stranger Things, I made us snacks throughout the day, and when we got sick of sitting still staring at a screen we ran around on the baseball field next to our apartment. We finished the day at a Halloween party with friends from one of our old wards.

last minute Halloween plans
At my parent's house that weekend, I asked my mom if she had any costumes we could wear for Halloween. She pulled out a bag of stuff and I grabbed this hat. I thought G looked super hot with that wild hair! We dressed up as a county fair pageant queen and her trashy boyf.
With no plans on Halloween, we decided to spend it at our old ward’s Halloween party (The ward we were in for like 3 months). Nobody recognized Giuseppe with his hat on and nobody recognized me because I hardly went to church because I was in France half of our time in the ward. But we had a good time, we really did!

We finished the night finishing Stranger Things (SOOO good) and starting a new show, Zumbo's Just Desserts. It's a competitive dessert making show and it's SO entertaining. I love how much Giuseppe loves it, it's adorable.

..but cause he really knows me
One night I was real moody. G, sensing something was awry, knew just what to do.
First, he lit my Balsam & Cedar candle. The woodsy scent relaxes me.
Then, he turned off the stupid lights in our kitchen. (I think it’s impossible to be your best self when you’re in bad lighting. )
After that, he brought out his speaker and turned on “Call It What You Want”. Instant heart softener.
And finally, he stuck a honey stick in my mouth. Sugar is never a bad idea.
And to top it off, he went into our bedroom and made our bed! Oh how I love the boy. He knows just what I need.

My life changed, thanks to Jimmy Fallon

And then again a few days later I was being moody again. I walked into the room and saw this ready for me! haha he is the cutest.

Anthropologie birthday sale with Vin

Vin loves this place, he's always begging me to go and I'm like, "okay, fine..." He wanders around on his unsteady legs while I hold his hands and steer him away from glass items. He's SO cute. 

Hot husband

Hanging with the Hess'
We went to dinner at Rob and Angela's one Sunday and had the best time catching up with them. They just moved to a new place in Herriman and it's so cute. It has great lighting and a beautiful view of Salt Lake, so what more could you want? Willow is so adorable. I asked her if she knows my name and said confidently, "mom!" When I told her that wasn't it she asked confused, "daddy?" Hahaha. 

Sky & I

Bachelorette Party
I threw a bachelorette party for my friend Jodie. I bought balloons that spelled 'bride' and later used some of the balloons at my parents house to portray a different message.

Hess Traditions
We have NO traditions but are wanting to start some, so we decided to celebrate November 7 because that is the day Giuseppe proposed. Unfortunately we were busy with work and school until 9:30 so most of our ideas were out of the question. We decided to see a late movie and sneak some dinner into the theater. We ended up needing to chose a really late show and there were NO restaurants open except Carls Jr.! Ew! Giuseppe wasn't even hungry but I ordered a chicken sandwich and scarfed it down in the car. The bun tasted like angel food cake! What a wacky combo. But I was so hungry I ate it anyway. I also ordered a piece of cheesecake to bring into the theater. I lost the fork somewhere along the way so I ended up eating it with my hands. It melted and made a mess. We saw Happy Death Day which was dumb but really entertaining. 
What a classy tradition we've started hahaha!! Regardless of the trashiness, we had a super fun time and G ended the night covered in lipstick, so I'd call it a success. 

liz taylor
Liz's 22nd birthday and the release of reputation fell on November 10! We had a sushi & Taylor party to celebrate. Amy's gift was amazing, a Nicholas Cage pillow. What more could you want on a birthday?

thanks
Angela hosted the most delicious Thanksgiving! A lot of her family came. I got to spend lots of time with Sky and Willow, they are at such fun ages. I didn't get any pictures unfortunately! 

boot huntin'
we had the best weekend in elko with the fam for Raegan's homecoming talk from her mission in Chile. We spent Saturday night driving around town getting pictures in front of these boots! These are just a few of many, many pictures. 

Anddd that's a wrap! I really love my majors and my classes were so great this semester. I learned SO MUCH. I wrote so many papers in French and now my writing is actually kind of good. I read so many books and short stories and plays in French. I think my vocabulary has probably doubled. Learning French is so fun, most of the time I felt like I wasn't even doing homework.
I also spent two days a week helping in an ESL classroom at Salt Lake Community College. I learned so much about teaching and language acquisition, it was the greatest hands-on experience. One day after class, one of the students raised her hand and then pointed to me. She told everyone how she thought I was such a great teacher and I had helped her understand a new concept very clearly. That felt SO good! It was such a rewarding experience every day in that class.

And the BIG news is that Giuseppe GRADUATED LDS BUSINESS COLLEGE!! He started right before we got engaged, so LDSBC has always been a part of our married lives. He's thinking about UVU next to get his bachelor's. His degree is in business management and he got really good grades each semester. I'm so proud of him! He loves studying business and he's really good at sales, so whatever he ends up doing career-wise I know he'll be successful. 

reputation examination

WARNING: the following is a very long, drawn out, and emotional post all about Taylor's new album. This will only appeal to a select few, but if you are not a swiftie and are interested in hearing a more in-depth analysis about an album you probably judged wrongly, listen up.

reputation, an examination.

From the perspective of an introspective.

Thursday, November 9th. 9:30 pm.

I lit my favorite candle (Balsam & Cedar), turned off the lights, plugged Giuseppe's beats into my phone, and pressed play. 56 minutes of discovery.

It was a horrible experience. I was devastated the first time I heard it all.

The songs all blurred together into one loud mesh of club beats, staggering drunkenness, anger, and lust. It was like someone took the Billboard Hot 100, blended it in a Vitamix, and served it up in 15 little shot glasses hand-painted with that fire face emoji.

It was too much to take in all at once. I should've know that. After the close of New Year’s Day, I yanked the headphones off my head and ran into the kitchen where Giuseppe was sitting. I closed the  lap top sitting in front of him and curled into his lap, trying to convince myself I could still be happy. Poor, young naïve Katrina. She had so much to learn.

My opinion on the album now is so much deeper. I actually LOVE it.

I don't blame myself for my initial hatred. It's a lot to take in, a new Taylor Swift album. The first time is always so overwhelming. My expectations are never met because I project too much of myself into her work, rather than appreciating her own prospective. That's one of the hardest parts about love, wouldn't you agree? Tearing away your own projections to fully appreciate someone else's beauty in their own unique state. I've had to learn how to put my own expectations aside- because trust me, I had a lot- and turn my brain into white, malleable clay.

So, after a lot of soul searching, long talks with close friends, and listening sessions, I happily present to you my deeply thought-out review of Reputation, track-by-track. I'll start with my least favorites and work my way up to the crown jewels of the album.

15. ...Ready For It?
Oh boy. The attention this terrible song has received is actually mind boggling to me. I've watched a lot of swifties proclaim this is one of their favorites (or even THE favorite) on the album and I cannot believe it. It's just a MESS in my opinion. I don't find it cohesive at all, which really unnerves me. The transition between the rapped verses and the bubbly pop chorus is sooo off to me. When people say they love this song, I see them with that Fantastic Mr. Fox swirly eyed effect and I can't take them seriously. There is no credibility behind a swirly-eyed opinion. Here are just some more moments of "Ready For It" that really rub me the wrong way: 
1. the way she whines "but he acts like such a man, so..." in a bratty middle school girl voice.
2. that angry football beat!! Can't stand it. 
3.  The way she attempts rapping is overall a mess, but particularly when she says "holding him for ransom/som/some boys are tryin' too hard" 
4. The transition between, "I know I'm gonna be with you/so I take my time" which is a nice, romantic line but then it's immediately followed with an almost threatening, "are you ready for it?"
5. I think the worst part about this song is how it's supposed to be an ode to the love of her life, Joe, yet it's so... showy. And terrorizing. Idk, Taylor, that's not my kinda love but you do you. 
6. The music video is such a mess. It's always been a pet peeve of mine when the footage of a music video has nothing to do with the lyrics of the song. Sometimes it's done in a really nice, artistic way that makes you think about the song in a different light... but it's really rare that an artist call pull that off. In this music video she's basically taking back her reputation or something but that has nothing to do with the lyrics. So not a fan. Any of you swirly-eyed fans have a different perspective? 

14. King of My Heart
Another non-cohesive mess, where all I can feel is Taylor trying too hard. This song is just unnatural. Lyrically, it sounds like something she would have written for her Speak Now deluxe edition but of course was rejected. Then earlier this year then she pulled it back out and spiced it up with some sex and alcohol references, and Martin/Shellbackified it. Quite the horror story. Admittedly, there are some really good lines in here, for example "is this the end of all the endings/ My broken bones are mending" That's beautiful, right? But the way she sings it makes me CRINGE. Unfortunately there are a lot of cringeworthy moments in this song. Like the way she says "jaguars" and the whole verse about him moving to her and her being his American queen... I don't know what it is exactly about that part but it just makes me uncomfortable. Sorry Taylor, not feeling it.
Sonically speaking, this song is such a roller coaster. Taylor described her intentions when writing this song in a recent video. She wanted each part of the song to show the progression of a relationship. Each verse has a new sound to represent a new phase of their love. Sounds fine on paper but it definitely didn't work out in the real world.

13. So It Goes...
This song is fine. There are some good parts, like the moody beat in the chorus, and the intimate echoes of her voice in the verses. Some of the lyrics are actually really good. Some of my favorites: "gold cage, hostage to my feelings." "getting caught up in a moment/ lipstick on your face." And on a personal note, I like the line "come here, dressed in black now" because it reminds my of my high school days when I would dress up as The Woman in Black just for fun. I rocked that. Anyway, this is a simple love song which the point of is very unclear. So what goes? Rendez-vous in your bedroom? A potentially end-game relationship? What? 
"It's fine." That's my statement on this track.  Put it on as a background melody when you're doing homework or something. Things could be worse, at least the song is sonically cohesive. Worst lyrics: "You know I'm not a bad girl but I do bad things with you." That just sounds like a dumb Tov Lo lyric. "I'm so chill but you make me jealous." What? This song is just dull, and its purpose is very unclear, which is unsettling for me.

12. Gorgeous
I actually really like baby James Reynold's voice at the beginning of the song, I think it's quirky and cute. I like to think this is what this song is supposed to emulate, quirkiness and cuteness. It's the Stay Stay Stay, or the How You Get The Girl of the album. It's just fun and flirtatious and shouldn't be examined too thoroughly because it wasn't meant to be anything more than a girly crush anthem enjoyed when the mood is right. I don't have anything against this song, the only reason I'm ranking it so low is because I'm not a big fan of these kinds of songs in the first place. But I see its value, it's a light song amidst much deeper, moodier ones. It gives the album balance. Worst lyric: "you make me so happy it turns back to sad." Giuseppe makes fun of this one a lot and I don't stop him. Best lyric: "you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room." See, it's just a sweet little flirtatious rant and deserves to be loved on by ninth grade girls who are into this kinda thing.

11. Dress
The first thing I want to say about this song is I wonder if she really got matching golden tattoos with Joe. Will we ever find out? Anyway, to the rest of this song. This is one of the songs on the album that I get bored at. At track 12, we had already heard so much electro pop and it was getting old. It doesn't actually sound that great in my opinion. Old Taylor would have had a drum-heavy/vocal heavy production that would have been a lot more powerful. Sonically, I think this song is just kind of boring, and I kind of get the vibe she's trying too hard to sound like everyone else. Lyrically, I mean it's very sexual. I just don't find this song very creative or unique. It's fine, I'll listen to it if it comes on and sing along. It's somewhat catchy and there are some good lyrics in here. My overall review of this song is "eh". I think she's trying to hard.

10. End Game
I'm going to first start off by saying that the rap part in this is so bad. Those lyrics are just horrendous. I've never been into rap, but I can appreciate rap as a form of art when the lyrics are deep and meaningful. This is just a mess though. To me it sounds like some kind of parody making fun of rap. "You so dope, don't overdose." What? Not moving. At all. Ed sounds great though, he can never do wrong. This song is catchy and is really powerful sounding. I honestly don't have much to say about it except that this genre isn't Taylor's strong suit. I mean she's a lanky, educated blonde woman from Pennsylvania, why is she saying things like, "I hit you like bang" or "I ain't tryna play"? I hope this hip-hop indulgence doesn't resurface on any future albums. If she leaves it in reputation, we can all say it was a good ride and move on.

9. Look What You Made Me Do
I feel like I might get stoned for saying this, but I actually like Look What You Made Me Do. This album is full of a lot of revenge and bitterness, but I've come to realize that it's not actually a weakness but a strength. The album is littered with references to her tattered reputation. The thing about this particular song is the bold statement it makes. She's taking control of the narrative Kim and Kanye painted last year, calling out their lies and dirty tricks. "You asked me for a place to sleep/locked me out/then threw a feast." I thought this song was so petty at first. I thought, "oh come on Taylor, get over it!" But then I started to put myself in Taylor's shoes. What would it be like to have magazine covers flooded with my face declaring me a liar and a fake? What would it be like to have my social media accounts flooded with snake emojis from tens of thousands of people that don't even know me? I think I'd probably handle it with the same anger and bitterness she does, so I'm not going to judge. I'm not saying it's right to hold on to bitterness, but I do appreciate Taylor's honesty. She's always been so vulnerable with her feelings in her music, and in reputation we see a lot of her darker side. She's not perfect, and she shouldn't pretend to be. Of course I do wish that Kanye West never stirred up drama with her and that Taylor's 6th album didn't have to touch on so much revenge, but the harsh reality is that cruel people do exist, life is hard, and we are going to get tainted by it. Revenge songs like Look What You Made Me Do and This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things are not the culmination of this album but rather important building blocks that make her declaration of finding true love all the more inspiring.
Taylor is sensitive, passionate, introspective, and lively. She wouldn't be so adored if she didn't have such an emotional capacity. Her capacity to feel deeply is what inspires her genius lyricism and musical taste, and I think this track is a prime example of her vulnerability. Just not in the sweetly in-love or broken-hearted way we are used to.
Another thing I like about this song is it's relatability. Sure, most of us don't have a Kanye West in our lives, and most people tend to live relatively drama-free lives. But haven't we all been there, hearing something negative someone's said about us or having someone treat us unfairly? I'm sure we can all agree it hurts. And while I don't believe it's healthy to live a life of bitterness and mistrust, it is nice to have these feelings validated. So, this is why I like Look What You Made Me Do. It's honest. It's confident. And It's got a brilliant production that really makes the lyrics come to life.  Plus the music video is phenomenal.

8. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
This song is hilarious! It's clever, condescending, and controlling. Everything you could ever want in a perfect revenge song. She sings about her glitzy life, lavish parties, her golden reputation. And then the music turns into a scary mom lecture as belittles Kanye West for breaking her nice things and Taylor had to take them away.
If you are thinking maybe this song is a little too harsh, then you don't know Kanye West. He is the king of all narcissists and what he did to her was very unfair.
In this song, she treats him like a child, which I think is the ultimate burn. This song is just TOO fun to sing along to. I really hated the part where she laughs her head off at the idea of forgiving him. I thought it was so petty. And you know what, maybe it is. Maybe she'll regret it one day. But it definitely adds to the burn, and I don't hate is so much these days. Every album of hers has some sort of comic relief (Blank Space, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Better Than Revenge, Forever & Always) but this may be her funniest yet. Well done Taylor.

7. I Did Something Bad
I really didn't get into this song until I started using it on my workout playlist. I've always struggled with workout playlists because I'm not particularly fond of really powerful beats or loudness. But this. is. perfect. It's angry. Rebellious. Motivating. All the things you want to feel when you're sweating doing squats in your living room, right? One thing I don't like about this song is that it's kind of all over the place in terms of its message. Is it about Calvin? Tom? Kim and Kanye? Katy? I don't really know. And what exactly is the bad thing she did? Still unclear to me. But it's okay, it doesn't need to make sense. Because when I'm feeling lazy all I have to do is put on my sports bra, turn this song on and I'm ready to go. Favorite line:  "most fun I ever had/ And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could/it just felt so good." I just think of how good it feels to take a well-deserved shower after a sweaty workout haha.

6. Dancing With Our Hands Tied
The MOOD in this song is everything. It's kind of hurried-sounding, like she's nervous, "I had a bad feeling." She admits she's a mess,"but I'm the mess that you wanted." All the verses sound kind of on edge as she sings about everything good and everything bad, but in the chorus she lets loose. The EDM-like chorus sounds just as worried and concerned and in love as the rest of the song, but it's like she kind of accepts the feelings and dances to it. Some great lyrics: "My love had been frozen/ deep blue but you painted me golden." "I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us." What's really interesting, is what exactly she means by "dancing with our hands tied." The expression "my hands are tied" mean something along the lines of "there's nothing I can do." Which I think is what she's trying to portray in the song, there's nothing she can do about what people say about her, about her past, his past... But I sometimes wonder if she also means in some sense that their hands are tied together. Like they can't do anything about what goes on around them and what happened before them, but they are fiercely stuck together. I like to think of it that way. I think this is a great song, it's fun and upbeat but also deep and meaningful, like a 1989 bop.

5. New Year's Day
There's glitter on the floor after the party... Oh Taylor. You know just how to paint a narrative. This song is poetic and observant and wistful and sentimental and completely channels the old Taylor. The muted piano is brilliant, such an elegant touch to an emotional ballad. Her voice in this track is so simple and raw. I love how she gets low and quiet when she sings, "you and me from the night before." This song is so lovey, I love the line, "you squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi." I love her longing in, "don't read the last page." and the simple statement of "I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day." This is SUCH an old Taylor thing to say, making a simple observation and turning it into a grand romantic symbol. I love that for the first time on the album, Taylor tells Joe that she'll be there for him when he strikes out and he's crawling home. "Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you. And I will hold on to you..." what a sweet note to end the album on. This song is such a breath of fresh air after an album chock full of loud electro pop, revenge, and wildness. It was a good ride, but I'm glad to know that at the end of the day Taylor is still the same person who recognizes true beauty and long lasting values.

4. Don't Blame Me
Wow. I was not expecting a track like this at all. It's exciting, dark, needy, vulnerable, and brave. Her belting vocals when she says "using for the rest of my lifeee oh oh ohOHHHHH" is so new for her and she ROCKS it. It may be the highlight of the album. I love that she touched on this theme of neediness/desire again like she did with Treacherous. I see a lot of similarities between the two songs. I've heard other critics complain that this metaphor of comparing your baby to a drug is very worn-out theme but I don't care. Taylor always does it best. Another mesmerizing part about this song is the gospel-choir-like sound. I mean who doesn't love a good soulful production? I love the "mmmm mmmm" 's from the back up singers and the EDM-like vibrating chords that introduce a new segment of the song. I love the loud, powerful chorus in between vocally strong verses. I love the obsessed lyric "my name is whatever you decide," and the way she says, "if you walk away/I'd beg you on my knees to stay." I mean what's love without a little bit of obsession, huh? Passionless. I love her declaration on real love, "don't blame me/love made me crazy/if it doesn't you ain't doing right." Yes. Ohh this track is amazing. I have a friend who was moved to tears the first time she heard it. And now I question myself, "who am I to have not seen its beauty initially too?" Sometimes I just don't understand myself.

3. Delicate
Ohhhh how I love this song. I love the synthetic effect on her vocals, I think it really sets the vibe for the song. By altering her voice, it's like she's hiding part of herself from us, which is what she's doing to her love interest in this song. She's scared because she's falling in love but it's so delicate and new, she doesn't want to ruin anything. She tries to play it cool by saying, "we can't make any promises now can we babe/but you can make me a drink." At first listen, I thought the lyric "is it chill that you're in my head?" was too, I don't know, "urban"? "young"? But now I understand what she's trying to do. She's trying to be nonchalant while still expressing her deeper feelings. Brilliant woman. Another brilliant line, "my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me." I love how she sprinkles the word "reputation" throughout the album, really tying everything together. And she sounds so happy and relieved when she says, "you must like me for me." We all deserve that kind of love, the kind of love that looks past perceptions and sees us in a way that nobody else can. In addition to the emotional lyrics, the beat in this song is incredible. It's my favorite kind of beat, soft and melodic, not stealing the show but providing the right atmosphere. There's just something so moving about the way she repeats "isn't it isn't it isn't it..." I still can't really pinpoint why. This song is beautiful because the lyrics and sounds work together in perfect harmony to create a feeling. I really don't know anything about music, but these are the qualities I look for in a good song.

2. Getaway Car
Um, YES this is my second favorite song on the album, believe it or not. It's SO catchy, clever, unique, witty, and different. I love the sci-fi video game sounds in the background, the backup singers, the 80's vibe, the robbery references, her voice when she says, "I knew it from the first Old Fashioned we were cursed/ we never had a shotgun shot in the dark." I love how she furiously says, "I was screaming 'Go! Go! Go!'" And her clever reference to the paparazzi who documented this crazy romance, "a circus ain't a love story." I love the bridge, "we were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde/ until I switched to the other side." I love her voice when she says "I was dyyying in a getaway car" and then the finality in "said GOODBYE in a getaway car..." There's a lot of soul in this song, and I think it's an absolutely brilliant way to summarize her relationship with Tom Hiddleston. He was just the getaway car after her breakup with Calvin. Every moment of this song is so FUN. I normally don't fall in love with fun, upbeat breakup songs but I am obsessed with this one. Every second of this song is creative and captivating. There is nothing I love more these days than blasting this song and singing along at the top of my lungs. GO Taylor! Ah, you make me so proud.

1. Call It What You Want
This is THE most perfect example of Taylor trying something new and it completely succeeding. This slow, almost hip-hop like ballad is everything I could ever want from a Taylor Swift song. I fell in love with the very first second of it. The intro to this song is beautiful, the use of her voice as musical instruments sets a magical tone for this perfect love song. The beats throughout the song are subtle and powerful instead of being overpowering. The light back up singers add so much soul to the production, and the electro sound at 1:20 after she says, "they fade to nothing when I look at him" is the absolute greatest sound that perfectly matches the feelings of this song. Jack Antonoff is a production genius. And then the rise in back up vocals after, "yeah you know I did one thing right." I am just SO proud of this song. Her voice is so intimate and crisp, like when she says, "I'm doing better than I ever was." This song melts in your ears and burns your heart.
The best part about this song is that it's Taylor's deepest love song. Ever. Call it what you want, but this is love. This is Taylor at her most broken and devastated and hurt and embarrassed. This is Joseph Alwyn breathing life into her. Their relationship is the warm, safe cabin in the cold woods. She trusts him like a brother. He makes her laugh. He took the time to really know her. Call it what you want, but Taylor went through hell and back last summer. While the world was declaring her #over, he loved her like she was brand new. All of the nastiness fades to nothing when she looks at him. His starry eyes are sparking up her darkest night. This song touched me in ways no other songs have before. I think it's my #2 Taylor Swift song, right behind All Too Well.

Voilà. Reputation, an examination. From a very thorough fan.