reputation examination

WARNING: the following is a very long, drawn out, and emotional post all about Taylor's new album. This will only appeal to a select few, but if you are not a swiftie and are interested in hearing a more in-depth analysis about an album you probably judged wrongly, listen up.

reputation, an examination.

From the perspective of an introspective.

Thursday, November 9th. 9:30 pm.

I lit my favorite candle (Balsam & Cedar), turned off the lights, plugged Giuseppe's beats into my phone, and pressed play. 56 minutes of discovery.

It was a horrible experience. I was devastated the first time I heard it all.

The songs all blurred together into one loud mesh of club beats, staggering drunkenness, anger, and lust. It was like someone took the Billboard Hot 100, blended it in a Vitamix, and served it up in 15 little shot glasses hand-painted with that fire face emoji.

It was too much to take in all at once. I should've know that. After the close of New Year’s Day, I yanked the headphones off my head and ran into the kitchen where Giuseppe was sitting. I closed the  lap top sitting in front of him and curled into his lap, trying to convince myself I could still be happy. Poor, young naïve Katrina. She had so much to learn.

My opinion on the album now is so much deeper. I actually LOVE it.

I don't blame myself for my initial hatred. It's a lot to take in, a new Taylor Swift album. The first time is always so overwhelming. My expectations are never met because I project too much of myself into her work, rather than appreciating her own prospective. That's one of the hardest parts about love, wouldn't you agree? Tearing away your own projections to fully appreciate someone else's beauty in their own unique state. I've had to learn how to put my own expectations aside- because trust me, I had a lot- and turn my brain into white, malleable clay.

So, after a lot of soul searching, long talks with close friends, and listening sessions, I happily present to you my deeply thought-out review of Reputation, track-by-track. I'll start with my least favorites and work my way up to the crown jewels of the album.

15. ...Ready For It?
Oh boy. The attention this terrible song has received is actually mind boggling to me. I've watched a lot of swifties proclaim this is one of their favorites (or even THE favorite) on the album and I cannot believe it. It's just a MESS in my opinion. I don't find it cohesive at all, which really unnerves me. The transition between the rapped verses and the bubbly pop chorus is sooo off to me. When people say they love this song, I see them with that Fantastic Mr. Fox swirly eyed effect and I can't take them seriously. There is no credibility behind a swirly-eyed opinion. Here are just some more moments of "Ready For It" that really rub me the wrong way: 
1. the way she whines "but he acts like such a man, so..." in a bratty middle school girl voice.
2. that angry football beat!! Can't stand it. 
3.  The way she attempts rapping is overall a mess, but particularly when she says "holding him for ransom/som/some boys are tryin' too hard" 
4. The transition between, "I know I'm gonna be with you/so I take my time" which is a nice, romantic line but then it's immediately followed with an almost threatening, "are you ready for it?"
5. I think the worst part about this song is how it's supposed to be an ode to the love of her life, Joe, yet it's so... showy. And terrorizing. Idk, Taylor, that's not my kinda love but you do you. 
6. The music video is such a mess. It's always been a pet peeve of mine when the footage of a music video has nothing to do with the lyrics of the song. Sometimes it's done in a really nice, artistic way that makes you think about the song in a different light... but it's really rare that an artist call pull that off. In this music video she's basically taking back her reputation or something but that has nothing to do with the lyrics. So not a fan. Any of you swirly-eyed fans have a different perspective? 

14. King of My Heart
Another non-cohesive mess, where all I can feel is Taylor trying too hard. This song is just unnatural. Lyrically, it sounds like something she would have written for her Speak Now deluxe edition but of course was rejected. Then earlier this year then she pulled it back out and spiced it up with some sex and alcohol references, and Martin/Shellbackified it. Quite the horror story. Admittedly, there are some really good lines in here, for example "is this the end of all the endings/ My broken bones are mending" That's beautiful, right? But the way she sings it makes me CRINGE. Unfortunately there are a lot of cringeworthy moments in this song. Like the way she says "jaguars" and the whole verse about him moving to her and her being his American queen... I don't know what it is exactly about that part but it just makes me uncomfortable. Sorry Taylor, not feeling it.
Sonically speaking, this song is such a roller coaster. Taylor described her intentions when writing this song in a recent video. She wanted each part of the song to show the progression of a relationship. Each verse has a new sound to represent a new phase of their love. Sounds fine on paper but it definitely didn't work out in the real world.

13. So It Goes...
This song is fine. There are some good parts, like the moody beat in the chorus, and the intimate echoes of her voice in the verses. Some of the lyrics are actually really good. Some of my favorites: "gold cage, hostage to my feelings." "getting caught up in a moment/ lipstick on your face." And on a personal note, I like the line "come here, dressed in black now" because it reminds my of my high school days when I would dress up as The Woman in Black just for fun. I rocked that. Anyway, this is a simple love song which the point of is very unclear. So what goes? Rendez-vous in your bedroom? A potentially end-game relationship? What? 
"It's fine." That's my statement on this track.  Put it on as a background melody when you're doing homework or something. Things could be worse, at least the song is sonically cohesive. Worst lyrics: "You know I'm not a bad girl but I do bad things with you." That just sounds like a dumb Tov Lo lyric. "I'm so chill but you make me jealous." What? This song is just dull, and its purpose is very unclear, which is unsettling for me.

12. Gorgeous
I actually really like baby James Reynold's voice at the beginning of the song, I think it's quirky and cute. I like to think this is what this song is supposed to emulate, quirkiness and cuteness. It's the Stay Stay Stay, or the How You Get The Girl of the album. It's just fun and flirtatious and shouldn't be examined too thoroughly because it wasn't meant to be anything more than a girly crush anthem enjoyed when the mood is right. I don't have anything against this song, the only reason I'm ranking it so low is because I'm not a big fan of these kinds of songs in the first place. But I see its value, it's a light song amidst much deeper, moodier ones. It gives the album balance. Worst lyric: "you make me so happy it turns back to sad." Giuseppe makes fun of this one a lot and I don't stop him. Best lyric: "you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room." See, it's just a sweet little flirtatious rant and deserves to be loved on by ninth grade girls who are into this kinda thing.

11. Dress
The first thing I want to say about this song is I wonder if she really got matching golden tattoos with Joe. Will we ever find out? Anyway, to the rest of this song. This is one of the songs on the album that I get bored at. At track 12, we had already heard so much electro pop and it was getting old. It doesn't actually sound that great in my opinion. Old Taylor would have had a drum-heavy/vocal heavy production that would have been a lot more powerful. Sonically, I think this song is just kind of boring, and I kind of get the vibe she's trying too hard to sound like everyone else. Lyrically, I mean it's very sexual. I just don't find this song very creative or unique. It's fine, I'll listen to it if it comes on and sing along. It's somewhat catchy and there are some good lyrics in here. My overall review of this song is "eh". I think she's trying to hard.

10. End Game
I'm going to first start off by saying that the rap part in this is so bad. Those lyrics are just horrendous. I've never been into rap, but I can appreciate rap as a form of art when the lyrics are deep and meaningful. This is just a mess though. To me it sounds like some kind of parody making fun of rap. "You so dope, don't overdose." What? Not moving. At all. Ed sounds great though, he can never do wrong. This song is catchy and is really powerful sounding. I honestly don't have much to say about it except that this genre isn't Taylor's strong suit. I mean she's a lanky, educated blonde woman from Pennsylvania, why is she saying things like, "I hit you like bang" or "I ain't tryna play"? I hope this hip-hop indulgence doesn't resurface on any future albums. If she leaves it in reputation, we can all say it was a good ride and move on.

9. Look What You Made Me Do
I feel like I might get stoned for saying this, but I actually like Look What You Made Me Do. This album is full of a lot of revenge and bitterness, but I've come to realize that it's not actually a weakness but a strength. The album is littered with references to her tattered reputation. The thing about this particular song is the bold statement it makes. She's taking control of the narrative Kim and Kanye painted last year, calling out their lies and dirty tricks. "You asked me for a place to sleep/locked me out/then threw a feast." I thought this song was so petty at first. I thought, "oh come on Taylor, get over it!" But then I started to put myself in Taylor's shoes. What would it be like to have magazine covers flooded with my face declaring me a liar and a fake? What would it be like to have my social media accounts flooded with snake emojis from tens of thousands of people that don't even know me? I think I'd probably handle it with the same anger and bitterness she does, so I'm not going to judge. I'm not saying it's right to hold on to bitterness, but I do appreciate Taylor's honesty. She's always been so vulnerable with her feelings in her music, and in reputation we see a lot of her darker side. She's not perfect, and she shouldn't pretend to be. Of course I do wish that Kanye West never stirred up drama with her and that Taylor's 6th album didn't have to touch on so much revenge, but the harsh reality is that cruel people do exist, life is hard, and we are going to get tainted by it. Revenge songs like Look What You Made Me Do and This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things are not the culmination of this album but rather important building blocks that make her declaration of finding true love all the more inspiring.
Taylor is sensitive, passionate, introspective, and lively. She wouldn't be so adored if she didn't have such an emotional capacity. Her capacity to feel deeply is what inspires her genius lyricism and musical taste, and I think this track is a prime example of her vulnerability. Just not in the sweetly in-love or broken-hearted way we are used to.
Another thing I like about this song is it's relatability. Sure, most of us don't have a Kanye West in our lives, and most people tend to live relatively drama-free lives. But haven't we all been there, hearing something negative someone's said about us or having someone treat us unfairly? I'm sure we can all agree it hurts. And while I don't believe it's healthy to live a life of bitterness and mistrust, it is nice to have these feelings validated. So, this is why I like Look What You Made Me Do. It's honest. It's confident. And It's got a brilliant production that really makes the lyrics come to life.  Plus the music video is phenomenal.

8. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
This song is hilarious! It's clever, condescending, and controlling. Everything you could ever want in a perfect revenge song. She sings about her glitzy life, lavish parties, her golden reputation. And then the music turns into a scary mom lecture as belittles Kanye West for breaking her nice things and Taylor had to take them away.
If you are thinking maybe this song is a little too harsh, then you don't know Kanye West. He is the king of all narcissists and what he did to her was very unfair.
In this song, she treats him like a child, which I think is the ultimate burn. This song is just TOO fun to sing along to. I really hated the part where she laughs her head off at the idea of forgiving him. I thought it was so petty. And you know what, maybe it is. Maybe she'll regret it one day. But it definitely adds to the burn, and I don't hate is so much these days. Every album of hers has some sort of comic relief (Blank Space, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Better Than Revenge, Forever & Always) but this may be her funniest yet. Well done Taylor.

7. I Did Something Bad
I really didn't get into this song until I started using it on my workout playlist. I've always struggled with workout playlists because I'm not particularly fond of really powerful beats or loudness. But this. is. perfect. It's angry. Rebellious. Motivating. All the things you want to feel when you're sweating doing squats in your living room, right? One thing I don't like about this song is that it's kind of all over the place in terms of its message. Is it about Calvin? Tom? Kim and Kanye? Katy? I don't really know. And what exactly is the bad thing she did? Still unclear to me. But it's okay, it doesn't need to make sense. Because when I'm feeling lazy all I have to do is put on my sports bra, turn this song on and I'm ready to go. Favorite line:  "most fun I ever had/ And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could/it just felt so good." I just think of how good it feels to take a well-deserved shower after a sweaty workout haha.

6. Dancing With Our Hands Tied
The MOOD in this song is everything. It's kind of hurried-sounding, like she's nervous, "I had a bad feeling." She admits she's a mess,"but I'm the mess that you wanted." All the verses sound kind of on edge as she sings about everything good and everything bad, but in the chorus she lets loose. The EDM-like chorus sounds just as worried and concerned and in love as the rest of the song, but it's like she kind of accepts the feelings and dances to it. Some great lyrics: "My love had been frozen/ deep blue but you painted me golden." "I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us." What's really interesting, is what exactly she means by "dancing with our hands tied." The expression "my hands are tied" mean something along the lines of "there's nothing I can do." Which I think is what she's trying to portray in the song, there's nothing she can do about what people say about her, about her past, his past... But I sometimes wonder if she also means in some sense that their hands are tied together. Like they can't do anything about what goes on around them and what happened before them, but they are fiercely stuck together. I like to think of it that way. I think this is a great song, it's fun and upbeat but also deep and meaningful, like a 1989 bop.

5. New Year's Day
There's glitter on the floor after the party... Oh Taylor. You know just how to paint a narrative. This song is poetic and observant and wistful and sentimental and completely channels the old Taylor. The muted piano is brilliant, such an elegant touch to an emotional ballad. Her voice in this track is so simple and raw. I love how she gets low and quiet when she sings, "you and me from the night before." This song is so lovey, I love the line, "you squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi." I love her longing in, "don't read the last page." and the simple statement of "I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day." This is SUCH an old Taylor thing to say, making a simple observation and turning it into a grand romantic symbol. I love that for the first time on the album, Taylor tells Joe that she'll be there for him when he strikes out and he's crawling home. "Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you. And I will hold on to you..." what a sweet note to end the album on. This song is such a breath of fresh air after an album chock full of loud electro pop, revenge, and wildness. It was a good ride, but I'm glad to know that at the end of the day Taylor is still the same person who recognizes true beauty and long lasting values.

4. Don't Blame Me
Wow. I was not expecting a track like this at all. It's exciting, dark, needy, vulnerable, and brave. Her belting vocals when she says "using for the rest of my lifeee oh oh ohOHHHHH" is so new for her and she ROCKS it. It may be the highlight of the album. I love that she touched on this theme of neediness/desire again like she did with Treacherous. I see a lot of similarities between the two songs. I've heard other critics complain that this metaphor of comparing your baby to a drug is very worn-out theme but I don't care. Taylor always does it best. Another mesmerizing part about this song is the gospel-choir-like sound. I mean who doesn't love a good soulful production? I love the "mmmm mmmm" 's from the back up singers and the EDM-like vibrating chords that introduce a new segment of the song. I love the loud, powerful chorus in between vocally strong verses. I love the obsessed lyric "my name is whatever you decide," and the way she says, "if you walk away/I'd beg you on my knees to stay." I mean what's love without a little bit of obsession, huh? Passionless. I love her declaration on real love, "don't blame me/love made me crazy/if it doesn't you ain't doing right." Yes. Ohh this track is amazing. I have a friend who was moved to tears the first time she heard it. And now I question myself, "who am I to have not seen its beauty initially too?" Sometimes I just don't understand myself.

3. Delicate
Ohhhh how I love this song. I love the synthetic effect on her vocals, I think it really sets the vibe for the song. By altering her voice, it's like she's hiding part of herself from us, which is what she's doing to her love interest in this song. She's scared because she's falling in love but it's so delicate and new, she doesn't want to ruin anything. She tries to play it cool by saying, "we can't make any promises now can we babe/but you can make me a drink." At first listen, I thought the lyric "is it chill that you're in my head?" was too, I don't know, "urban"? "young"? But now I understand what she's trying to do. She's trying to be nonchalant while still expressing her deeper feelings. Brilliant woman. Another brilliant line, "my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me." I love how she sprinkles the word "reputation" throughout the album, really tying everything together. And she sounds so happy and relieved when she says, "you must like me for me." We all deserve that kind of love, the kind of love that looks past perceptions and sees us in a way that nobody else can. In addition to the emotional lyrics, the beat in this song is incredible. It's my favorite kind of beat, soft and melodic, not stealing the show but providing the right atmosphere. There's just something so moving about the way she repeats "isn't it isn't it isn't it..." I still can't really pinpoint why. This song is beautiful because the lyrics and sounds work together in perfect harmony to create a feeling. I really don't know anything about music, but these are the qualities I look for in a good song.

2. Getaway Car
Um, YES this is my second favorite song on the album, believe it or not. It's SO catchy, clever, unique, witty, and different. I love the sci-fi video game sounds in the background, the backup singers, the 80's vibe, the robbery references, her voice when she says, "I knew it from the first Old Fashioned we were cursed/ we never had a shotgun shot in the dark." I love how she furiously says, "I was screaming 'Go! Go! Go!'" And her clever reference to the paparazzi who documented this crazy romance, "a circus ain't a love story." I love the bridge, "we were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde/ until I switched to the other side." I love her voice when she says "I was dyyying in a getaway car" and then the finality in "said GOODBYE in a getaway car..." There's a lot of soul in this song, and I think it's an absolutely brilliant way to summarize her relationship with Tom Hiddleston. He was just the getaway car after her breakup with Calvin. Every moment of this song is so FUN. I normally don't fall in love with fun, upbeat breakup songs but I am obsessed with this one. Every second of this song is creative and captivating. There is nothing I love more these days than blasting this song and singing along at the top of my lungs. GO Taylor! Ah, you make me so proud.

1. Call It What You Want
This is THE most perfect example of Taylor trying something new and it completely succeeding. This slow, almost hip-hop like ballad is everything I could ever want from a Taylor Swift song. I fell in love with the very first second of it. The intro to this song is beautiful, the use of her voice as musical instruments sets a magical tone for this perfect love song. The beats throughout the song are subtle and powerful instead of being overpowering. The light back up singers add so much soul to the production, and the electro sound at 1:20 after she says, "they fade to nothing when I look at him" is the absolute greatest sound that perfectly matches the feelings of this song. Jack Antonoff is a production genius. And then the rise in back up vocals after, "yeah you know I did one thing right." I am just SO proud of this song. Her voice is so intimate and crisp, like when she says, "I'm doing better than I ever was." This song melts in your ears and burns your heart.
The best part about this song is that it's Taylor's deepest love song. Ever. Call it what you want, but this is love. This is Taylor at her most broken and devastated and hurt and embarrassed. This is Joseph Alwyn breathing life into her. Their relationship is the warm, safe cabin in the cold woods. She trusts him like a brother. He makes her laugh. He took the time to really know her. Call it what you want, but Taylor went through hell and back last summer. While the world was declaring her #over, he loved her like she was brand new. All of the nastiness fades to nothing when she looks at him. His starry eyes are sparking up her darkest night. This song touched me in ways no other songs have before. I think it's my #2 Taylor Swift song, right behind All Too Well.

Voilà. Reputation, an examination. From a very thorough fan. 

reputation speculation

I am a Taylor Swift fanatic. 

My obsession started at age 12 when I fell in love with Fearless, and she became a solidified part of my soul after Red, which was inarguably the best album of all time.

TS6, aka "reputation" comes out on November 10th and you better believe the speculation over this album is controlling my life.

The end of the music video for her first single "Look What You Made Me Do" features 15 different Taylors all lined up, and that is the reason for this blog post. 

On tumblr, a fan speculated that because the album has 15 tracks, maybe each Taylor represents a song on the album. Well, Taylor herself LIKED this post. It's gotta be true.

SO, I have compiled a thoroughly thought-out and researched hypothesis of each song on the album based on the Taylor represented in the music video.

I know, I'm a freak. BUT I'm very proud of what I've created and I just had to share it with those who would appreciate it! Because even though Giuseppe has been a great listener, he doesn't really get it.

So, here's to the ones who get it:

1. Biker Taylor, LWYMMD music video. Released 9/3 ...Ready For It? The release of this song was kind of a punch in the gut, not going to lie. It's just terrible. And I HATE to say that about any of her work. This song is as rough on the ears as Biker Taylor is to the eyes. There is a scary, angry beat that now reminds me of football because of its use in NFL ads. Yuck. The lyrics are cheap. Lustful. Trying too hard to be bad. It makes me sad because this song is so obviously about Joe Alwyn- "younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so"- and it really dashed my hopes on what their relationship is all about. Such a shallow "love" song. Taylor & Joe have been together from as early as October of last year, and I was hoping this private long-term relationship is the real thing. From the lyrics of this song, I'm guessing it's not. But maybe she's joking around here, being satirical? Please, Taylor. Please tell us you're joking. I mean rapping? That's not you, hon. I'm hoping with all my heart that this will be her only attempt at rap on the album. And ever. I mean she used to rap for comedy! And now it's for real? How uncomfortable.

2. Bank Robber Taylor, LWYMMD music video. The bank robber character in the video references Taylor standing up to Spotify for not fairly paying artists for their work. Going with this "standing up for what's right" kind of theme, I'm speculating a call-to-action kind of song. A year ago, pop star Kesha posted a picture on instagram captioned: "making a **** OFF song with a casual Grammy award winning secret person. I got a good feeling about this one." She then posted 13 emojis which is widely known as Taylor's number. So my guess for track 2 is the hyped-up Kesha collaboration which hopefully is less vulgar than Kesha's little hint. Live Free feat Kesha. A couple years ago, Taylor financially supported Kesha in her sexual abuse lawsuit against her producer. And this August, Kesha sent flowers to Taylor during her own sexual assault trial against a DJ. Women's rights is what united these two. I think these girls got together and wrote some kind of power anthem for women, and I think it's going to be amazing. Kesha recently tattooed the words "Live Free" across her knuckles in the same font as Taylor's "reputation" album cover, and I think it's very possible this could be the name of their song. It's compelling, isn't it? I think lyrically it will be very powerful, though it will definitely be a party anthem. I'm picturing it sounding kind of like that 2013 Icona Pop song, "I Love It". Chanting. Beats. Proud proclamations. I'm sure it will be a hit.

3. "Rep" leotard Taylor, LWYMMD music video. For obvious reasons, I think track 3 will be called Reputation. This song will be a take down of the media. I hope it will be a very emotional song, where instead of violently throwing knives at the world, she'll humbly sing about the lessons she's learned while still portraying the harm of modern media. She'll sing about her family and friends, and about how in the end it doesn't matter what the world says about you, as long as those who really know and love you have respect for you. I hope it will be a hard-hitting song, and maybe she'll even get personal referencing her mom who is battling cancer. She'll cry singing it in concert. Sonically, it'll have a dark vibe to it. I'm picturing a mixture of "Tennis Courts" by Lorde and "Love" by Lana Del Rey. No party beat. No catchy chorus. Just quietly theatrical.

4. Red Ringleader Taylor. I think whatever this song turns out to be, it will be amazing because she'll be channeling her RED era, which is in my opinion the best era of all. To me, Red wasn't marked by a specific sound but more of an album full of high quality lyrics dealing with heartbreak. And this is what this song should be. She had a 15-month relationship with Calvin Harris that ended last year- her longest relationship by far- and I'm hoping this song will be a reflection on the relationship. Lyrically, it should be like "All Too Well" which documents her brief but intense romance with Jake Gyllenhaal with anecdotes and raw feelings. This is what I expect from this song. I think she's going to try out the Electronic genre on this album, so why not with this song? I'm imagining it would sound like what would happen if ODESZA did a remix of Red's "Sad Beautiful Tragic". Do you pick up what I'm putting down? She'll call it Timeless. According to the website Genius.com, a new song called "Timeless" was registered under her name. Though it's very possible that this Red-inspired electronic anthem I'm fantasizing about is far off, there will likely be a track called Timeless. And I definitely have hope for a song with such a beautiful title.

5. Fearless Tour Taylor. I can't help but wonder if track 5 will truly sound like the old Taylor. I mean how much more of a punch would that give to the next track, Look What You Made Me Do, when she proclaims her old self as dead? I don't think she'll do a country song on this album (I mean look at that album cover) but I'm thinking she might channel "Hey Stephen" for this track, though probably with a Martin/Shellback constructed chorus. It'll be a love song, obviously. I mean it's FEARLESS Taylor represented here. Love at first sight? Pining over unrequited love? Lamenting over broken trust? It'll have one of those themes for sure. As for the title, it'll be called A Second Glance. When Taylor released LWYMMD, her caption on social media was "...ready for it? New single #LookWhatYouMadeMeDo out now." And then a week later she surprised us with her single "...Ready For It?" captioning her announcement, "A second glance into #reputation". Hence, A Second Glance. I'm also going to throw out there that I think this will probably be the third single from the album, probably released sometime in October.

6. Kim Kardashian/Katy Perry Taylor. Look What You Made Me Do. The release of this song was kind of a slap in the face to me. As a devoted fan, it's like she was telling me, "I don't care about you, I'm just going to stay hung up on the small portion of the population that aggressively hates me. And I'll casually announce my album on social media without doing my usual very personal and interactive live video broadcast. Because they matter more than you do." Despite the victimized message of this song (which I don't agree with), the lyrics are really good and it does sound beautiful. It goes from an eerie magical fantasy film score to a cool moody chorus. I like it a lot. And the music video is fantastic.

7. Infamous 2009 VMA Taylor. Seeing as Taylor is all about revenge with this album, I'm thinking she's going to blatantly call out Kanye West for being so... Kanye West. I could totally see her doing a satirical song in which she takes on the role of West and acts like the king of the world, just like he does. Or in this case, Queen. It'll have Blank Space sass. Cheeky one-liners. Blatant references to him and his wife. It'll be really mean, because I guess that's what Taylor is into these days. :( I've gotta be realistic about this album, it can't all be theatrical heartbreak like it used to be. It'll be poppy. Electronic. Funky. Confident. It'll even have weird outer space sounds mingled in there because maybe she'll release a music video where she has some kind of mansion on the moon. I can see it, how about you?

8. Ellie Saab Taylor. Well this song is sure to be classy. Is it just me, or do you think it's time Taylor branches out vocally and gives a shot at an Adele-like ballad? My brilliant friend Liz had the most brilliant idea that she's going to name one of her songs Aw. This is in reference to an instagram post from like 2 years ago when she went on a tropical vacation with Calvin Harris and wrote in the sand "AW" which are his actual initials. I'm picturing what would happen if you combined 1989's "Wildest Dreams" with Adele's "Someone Like You". Wouldn't that be magic? It would be a beautiful song that would scream, "see! I'm more than my greasy hair and ragged sweatshirt!" which is really what we've all been praying for, right?

9. I Heart TS Lead Dancer Taylor, LWYMMD music video. This Taylor is very cool, wouldn't you say? Bad. Aggressive. A while back there were some very convincing rumors that Taylor was collaborating with rapper Drake. Just to keep things realistic, I will include this rap song in here. I honestly hate rap to my very core, so I don't even want to waste mental energy speculating this one. I wouldn't even know what to compare it to. Let's say it's some kind of "I'm too cool/don't care what you think of me" message with Drake backing up Taylor's vengeful emotions in a quick-paced, rap/pop song. Really Don't Care feat. Drake

10. You Belong With Me Taylor. In the LWYMMD music video, Taylor updated her iconic "Junior Jewels" t-shirt by handwriting the names of some of her closest friends. So.. this song will be about her friends! But not like a "let's go, G.N.O." kind of song. Something more real than that. I think she'll call it People Watching and she'll talk about what she admires about her friends! She'll call them out by their attributes, not their names. I can't really picture how she'd pull this off lyrically, but isn't that a cool idea for a song? It'll definitely be an upbeat pop song. Liz speculated that one of the songs might kind of sound like- wait for it...
Hillary Duff's "The Math". Hahahahaha!! I think she's onto something though, I mean once again have you seen the album cover? So that's what I'm picturing for this song. So maybe not the highest quality, but definitely fun.

11. Zombie Taylor, LWYMMD music video. Dark, messy, violent. This will be the ultimate heartbreak song and she's going to get mad on this track. She's going to channel her inner Florence + The Machine (we all have one) for a beautiful theatrical performance. I'm imagining a swiftified "Cosmic Love" in which she belts out stinging words and shares her melancholy with biting metaphors. It's going to be amazing and beautiful. It will probably be about Calvin- he's been her biggest heartbreak since we've last heard from her, right? She'll give it a yearning title, something like Come Home. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. I hope I'm not setting the bar too high here...

12. Shake It Off Ballerina. Ballet is a delicate form of dance. When I think of ballet, I think of strength yet fragility. Hard work before the reward. Flexibility. Pain. Grace. What if track 12 is about the struggles of her new relationship with Joe? In 1989's "I Know Places" she shared how lack of privacy threatened her budding romance with Harry Styles. Taylor has been dating Joe since at least February of this year, but it could have been as early as October of last year. She kept it quiet from the media for the longest time- we didn't find out about it until May of this year! That's the longest she's been able to keep a relationship secret. I'm sure that was really good for them, though of course extremely difficult to keep it hush-hush. This song will be about this time in their lives. The sneaking around, the falling n love. It will be beautiful! It'll be called something simple like Just Us. I'm picturing a moody pop song. Kind of like 1989's "Style" but also like her duet with ZAYN "I Don't Wanna Live Forever". Pretty, right? It'll have classic romantic Taylor Swift lyrics with anecdotes and endearing one-liners girls will use in their twitter profiles.

13. Serpent Queen Taylor, LWYMMD music video. The Girl In The Red. I have some big dreams for this one. First of all, isn't that an amazing title I came up with? Yes, it will reference her most amazing album ever, but it will also label her as a target, which definitely seems to be the theme of this album. The lyrics will be very poetic and metaphorical. Almost so metaphorical we aren't entirely sure what she means, but it sounds so beautiful we don't really care. She'll call out society for being so twisted. She'll talk about how she's constantly targeted with the negative- but in reality she's just a regular girl trying to figure things out just like the rest of us. She'll complain about how she hates fame. Is she ready to take her money and her dignity and get the hell out? Maybe. The best part about this song though will be the sound. I'm picturing it sounding like a "The xx" song. Quiet. Rhythmic beat. Low voice. Artsy. Moody. Revolutionary. Also a great song for a Target commercial, which is usually bundled in with her pre-album promotional ads.

14. Orange Taylor, LWYMMD. I really don't know what this pretty-haired shiny orange-clad look represents. Perhaps a shout out to the early 2000's? I mean look at that mini skirt and tall length boots. What if this track sounds like an early 2000's pop song? Think Avril Lavigne or Sheryl Crow. A sing-along-in-the-car love song with a Martin/Shellback mettled chorus. It'll be all about her summer romance with Tom Hiddleston. Simple. Sweet. Girly. Catchy. She'll call it We'll Remember This and use it for her concert music video.

15. Real Taylor (Taylor on the jet plane), LWYMMD music video. If you notice, there are only 14 Taylors lined up at the end of the music video. But if you look closely, you'll see the fifteenth Taylor standing on the jet plan in the background. She isn't dressed like any of her past selves. Could THIS be the real Taylor? The new, resurrected Taylor? Probably. She's wearing kind of funky outfit, but other than that she looks pretty normal. My guess for this culminating track is a raw, unedited acoustic song. No Max Martin. No forced rapping. No backup vocals. Just Taylor and her guitar. I'm hoping that in her year of silence, Taylor has developed a mature, hopeful outlook on her life. Maybe Joe is The One. Maybe this relationship is the real thing. Maybe her 12-year bad luck streak of heartbreak is over and she's ready to settle down. Romantically, at least. She'll sing about the hope she sees in her future with Joe. She'll call it Last One. Maybe she'll be candid with us and talk about her dreams of marrying him one day and having his babies. Can you just imagine how beautiful this song would be? Joe Alwyn if you're reading this, PLEASE make our girl feel safe and secure with you. If not for her sake, at least for this potential song's sake? Haha.

And that's a wrap.

Reputation, from the hopeful yet still realistic eyes of a longtime and clearly thorough fan.

If you are a Swiftie reading this, please comment and tell me what you think! And share it with your other Swiftie friends. Better yet, send me your OWN speculations!

If you think I am a freak and yet you have somehow made it through this entire post, you can keep your opinions to yourself and I strongly suggest you go find some headphones of the highest quality, light a candle, isolate yourself, and listen to "All Too Well". I promise it will make your day (and probably your life) better.